just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am spending my child support on dildos
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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