Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
