i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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