she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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