Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this boner is exhausting
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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