i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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