East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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