he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
