so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
