I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Randomize
