3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
