We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
