3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
