yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
