woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
