At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
