you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
