Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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