You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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