dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
