wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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