They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
