Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He better not be in your backpack
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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