East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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