how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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