Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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