I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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