so let's talk penis.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
