4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
