Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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