She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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