If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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