he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize