Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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