You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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