My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize