Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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