I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
