he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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