if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
