I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
