He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
