just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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