I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
