garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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