Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
