My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Farmville is her only friend.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
