But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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