woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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