I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What drink are we having for lunch?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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