It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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