you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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