absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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