I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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