Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
