I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
