she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize