My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the day after is always just damage control
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize