i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
