My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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