you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
