I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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